There is no telling when the first trend emerged in society or what it was.
It could have been about anything from a mindset to a type of food. Over the years, trends developed into everything from entertainment to different clothing styles.
Some trends remained, while others lasted a little while or ended as soon as they began.
But self-love, this one is different. It hits so close to home, but how much should we embrace it?
In this life with Jesus, loving ourselves is more important than ever.
There are so many attacks against our identity as Christian women, and even for women who are not saved by the Lord.
The truth is, we really should love ourselves deeply, making sure to appreciate who we were made to be from our appearance to our personality to our unique contributions to society.
This is especially true in seasons of heartbreak, healing, and growing. Everything that makes us beautiful and unique comes from God because He designed our uniqueness to glorify His kingdom.
The problem comes when loving ourselves serves no purpose but to be, well, centered on self.
Overindulging our emotions with thoughts about… self.
Avoiding what God has called us to do because it could challenge us, in the name of self-love, like extending our hands to the poor, or blessing a sister we disagree with, is when self-love becomes toxic to our godly nature in Christ Jesus.
Before going too far into how self-love should or could be crafted into our lives as godly women, let’s define it and its self-proclaimed purpose… (pun intended).
What is Self-Love?
Since there’s no official definition of the term, nor is there any known person credited to have come up with it (a red flag, which means its origins may not entirely be from Christ), here are some snippets from around the internet that define self-love:
Wikipedia describes it as the following: “[a] regard for one’s own happiness or advantage”,
Another website says that “Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself.”
One site said that self-love is accepting every emotion we have and feeling “all the things.”
Another said that self-love means to have compassion, curiosity, and tolerance for yourself, all while in a relationship with, you guessed it, self.
At face value, these definitions appear to be very mindful of our hearts, especially as women.
Jesus had compassion on people. So, it makes sense to believe that we should have compassion for ourselves.
And we should all be able to find more than one thing about us that we find unique and lovely.
But… there is a very fine line we walk in loving ourselves and glorifying ourselves.
This may even go without saying, but even the term self-love puts an emphasis on the self.
What do we know about ourselves as humanity? Without Christ, we live in a fallen, decrepit state, destined to live apart from God for eternity.
We’re selfish, living for the here and now. Eternity is not a priority, nor is the salvation of our families, because as long as life is good to us while we’re here on earth, that’s all that matters.
We can sleep with whoever we want, go wherever we want, and claim that it’s self-love since it’s just about our flesh and what feels good.
But with Christ as Lord in our hearts, we live every day shedding off that fallen nature and taking on God’s calling, holiness, and glory to be transformed into the image of Christ, as stated in 2 Corinthians 3:18 (NIV).
We watch how we dress, talk, and carry ourselves to ensure it’s honorable in the eyes of the Lord.
We pray for everyone around us that they would know God and follow Him.
We ask God to cleanse us to appear more like Him and pray that His Spirit never leaves us so we can be led by Him.
There is less emphasis on our own satisfaction and more on God’s Will and others around us.
It’s a big difference.
Furthermore, in this process of transformation in Christ’s glory, we should consider others as better than ourselves… as stated in Philippians 2:3 where it says, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (ESV).
So, in loving ourselves, and lavishing this appreciation of self, which self are we loving?
Is it the self that only cares about you and how everything makes you feel, or is it loving yourself so that you can gear up to love others with the love of Christ?
Should I practice self-love?
In reading God’s word, we can see that loving ourselves is an instruction, not a suggestion. Mark 12:31 is a verse known by many where Jesus told us to “Love your neighbor as yourself” (NIV).
And as ladies, there are endless ways we can find to not only love ourselves but also love others.
If we can douse ourselves with extra-long baths, elaborate skincare routines, retail therapy, and getaway trips to unwind, how are we loving others in equal measure?
That’s the question we should be asking.
Does my self-love match my level of service to those around me?
The scripture in Mark 12:31 says As you love your neighbor, the same level of love should be bestowed upon you (paraphrased).
There are many beautiful, rewarding ways to love yourself in the Lord.
Just remember that, as much as we love ourselves, the ultimate purpose in Christ’s words was to reveal to us how important it is to express love for people who may have a hard time loving themselves.
That way, we are all filled up with love.
And if loving ourselves means we’re increasing in godly love to those around us in equal measure, then I say let the self-love begin!