You got this. Better yet, The Lord has you in the palm of His Mighty Hand.

If you’ve come to this post with an empty view of your value as a single mother, you are in the right place.

Maybe you’re going through a lot of spiritual warfare and something came against your self-esteem that’s trying so hard to make you believe that motherhood is going break you, ruin you, or leave you unfulfilled.

Your schedule and routine may be out of wack from trying to balance yourself and the needs of your children.

Maybe you feel like you are failing your kids and fear that they will live with less than God intended.

The judgements of your family and people you know could have resulted in condemnation for the life you now have, and there may not be many people to turn to.

And your body, oh… it’ll never be the same.

This is where I found myself as a young mom to my daughter.

I had to stand right in the middle of these circumstances and go through life choosing to either believe the lies about what it meant to be a mother with no husband or seek the truth about it.

“God, if you are the God who redeems all things and situations, show me the blessing in this.”

Thoughts of worthlessness began to linger longer than normal and soon they became depression, hopelessness and shame. 

But always remember this:

Lies and half-truths only have one origin- Satan. He is the father of all these lies (John 8:44) and their purpose is to destroy you, no matter who you are.

He does not want you to have any peace or comfort while you navigate being a mother to your children.

And in this current world, unfortunately he does not have to work very hard to accomplish that.

But the truth will set you free (John 8:32, NIV), so here are some lies that circulated far too long in my journey of motherhood that I hope don’t run too long in yours.

Lie # 1: You ruined your life

More than once in my life, I’ve been told that becoming a parent at a young age was a sign of God preserving my life, meaning that if I hadn’t become a mother as the result of a disobedient lifestyle, worse would’ve happened.

And I wholeheartedly believe that.

I believe that the experience of becoming a mother propelled me into the calling to write and teach because it placed me on the path of growth and maturity in the Lord.

Moreover, have you not read Psalm 127 verses 3 through 5?! It says that children are like arrows, like a sharp weapon used for protection. When raised to fear God, they will bless you in the latter years to come.

That same passage also says that the man (or woman) whose quiver is full of arrows (which represent the children) will not be put to shame, in any way.

Here is the full passage of Psalm 127: 3-5:

“3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
    the fruit of the womb a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
    are the children of one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man
    who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
    when he speaks with his enemies in the gate” (ESV)

The truth is… nothing about your life has been ruined.

You are still living.

You are still breathing.

You have simply been redirected by God’s saving grace to raise godly children for his kingdom.

In doing this, you will become more like Jesus Christ through the entire process, if you allow Him to shepherd you and your children along the way.

Yes, it will take more than what you thought you had in you, but that dear sister, is not being ruined. That’s called being developed into a something greater.

Maybe you’ll be pruned (John 15), maybe you’ll be stretched (Isaiah 54:2), but being ruined is not on God’s agenda for you, especially as a single mother.  

Lie # 2: You are less of a person as a single parent

Modern culture has become more than toxic- it’s self-destructive. Abortion, perversity, idolatry, and spiritual uncleanness is everywhere and in almost every movie, T.V show, book, game and the like.

After I became a single mother, I found myself looking for acceptance in godless situations, and listening to the opinions of culture regarding my value as a person.

I would google things like ‘what men think of single moms’ and ‘dating as a single mom’.

I even started considering the opinions of women who gloated about how happy they were to still be child-free well past their thirties and forties.

It became hard to ignore the stark opinions. They were demoralizing.

I mean, what would you expect from a society that detests responsibility, morality and especially the things of God?

Let me save you the devastation…

The truth is… being a mother is a beautiful opportunity that holds much weight in the eyes of God.

Don’t allow the false narrative of this age around motherhood to dim your knowledge of how valuable you are to God and His love for you.

Fill yourself with His words, His love and cut out everything that opposes the truth.

The world will perpetuate all kinds of degrading ideologies about the holiness of God and his people. It’s not our job to control that, but rather we should live wisely and reflect on wholesome thoughts about our journeys through motherhood and the raising of our children.

⁸ Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Philippians 4:8

If you see content or conversation about being a mom, or becoming a mother that isn’t true, reject it.

If you witness content that isn’t noble or just (fair and balanced) in speech, ignore it.

Whenever you hear impure thoughts and words that aren’t lovely concerning being a mother, reject them.

If articles, news stories, or pop culture report negative comments and stigmas about moms, again, learn how to reject it.

And if it isn’t praiseworthy or full of virtue as a woman of God who is becoming a mother, what should you do?

You guessed it- ignore it!

Even though today’s culture isn’t healthy enough to reveal how important you are, God’s Word and His ways will always show you that no matter who you are, you are a precious daughter of God who He called to do amazing things, and that includes raising your children.

Lie #3: Your children will live in emotional and financial lack

If it’s normal for married couples to question if they’re doing their best by their kids, how much more of a burden could that be to a single mom?

And the questions can be endless.

Will my sons have godly men in their lives? How will I provide for them to reach their full potential? Are they at a disadvantage?

There are so many things in this world that people feel incomplete without.

Society leads us to believe that we must have a certain number of friends, money, education, and opportunities to consider ourselves well-equipped.

To bring up children in an ever-changing culture can be so daunting. But just because there are so many options does not mean that they are all meant for your kids to pursue.

The truth is… all your children need first is Christ as their savior and to be led by the Holy Spirit.

All else will come.

Begin by first knowing that all ability, all wealth, and all abundance comes from serving the Lord Jesus Christ. Colassians1:17 states that in Jesus, all things exist and are held together. In him, your children have everything they need.

By following His footsteps, with prayer and diligence, he will give direct your steps to provide your children with all they need, whether that is community, healing, or opportunity.

The most important thing He will do in you as their mother, is bless you with peace so that you won’t worry that you’re missing out.

Often times, we want our children to have the next shiny object that the world says they need.

But that type of thinking is out of order with the kingdom of Heaven.

When I couldn’t enroll provide my daughter with every new experience, yet saw so many families around me doing just that, the spirit of lack came over me and I felt so helpless.

The Lord comforted me and reminded me that my daughter is His daughter first, and she is written in the book of life. She has a home in heaven. With this in mind, I remembered that she lacks nothing at all.

Seek the Kingdom of God first for their core need of knowing Him and living righteously before Him. Then He can direct your steps according to their needs in the world for the most fulfilling life.

Closing

I hope this post encourages you to see the abundance that is waiting for you and your children in the Lord!

The more you meditate on the truth in God, you will become a stronger mother, which this world desperately needs to see more of.

It needs to see more women who are able to stand strong and combat destructive mindsets and patterns targeted against their motherhood and our children.

Don’t live another day believing anything less about your gifts from God!

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What other lies can you think of that are targeted against single mothers today? Please share in the comments below.